Wednesday 10 November 2010

Autumn

It is when the air begins to thin
The buds and leaves take their leave
The day never truly wakes up, midday as eve
That natures mystery calls to us
Us who yearn to be whole and good

It is when the greens and blues become reds and golds
When the baby  pinks take down the deep crimsons
When broad brush replaces fluff in lofty holds
That the earth cries to us
Us who try so hard

It is on those long and early journeys
When the wait til holidays seems a distant haze
It is as the air lights with smoke, bang  and coloured blaze
That's when the season calls to us
Us who seek to escape

It cries
"You who yearn to be whole and good, try and try and yet flee,
Listen to the rhythm of this season who watches as life begins to peel
Who is not hot nor cold, nor light nor dark, nor happy nor sad, nor good nor bad
Listen to the season that sits in the seat between two giants,
That is dying but not dead, that is old but wondrous
Listen to the season that creaks with tension in a haunting dance between laughter and despair
Between life and death
Listen and believe.

Saturday 6 November 2010

Diary extracts from: The Life and Strangely Romantic Adventures of a man called Rusoe

FIRST FEW DAYS

This is the first entry to my rescued journal I may make. Whilst on the voyage to the Caribbs, a terrible storm blew upon us, and within not much time has wrecked us. Such length on the waves accustomed me to the violent outbursts of ocean upon our vessel; however this one caused me perhaps more fright than any other, showing to some degree the peril which we were in. I have been thrown upon an island, deserted by all first appearances. Of the rest of the crew there is little sign, for it was with great fortune that I have been saved from the skeleton of the ship. Fortune smiled again on my poor being as our vessel is not out of reach of a swim and therefore I have been able to recover items. This is why I may have rescued the pen and ink and waited a day in the rather disagreeable stifling climate for it to dry in order to make these entries.
But forgive me; I have gotten ahead of myself. For the finder of these scribblings, my name is Rusoe, the spelling owing to the English cheapening of a great Swiss name. I can forgive it. This name alone for now is enough.
I find it strange that nature should find that I, a reluctant traveller, may first see good to destroy our ocean carriage and then let it be myself who was saved from the wreck. One mustn’t read too much into these events however, for they happen for little or perhaps unknown reasons. This is the fate I must now accept, and make good of.
Time here I must not view as time in waste, the marvel that surrounds me is a fit grave at worst. I have ventured little for now, though I would much like to, but I must hold back in order to attend to issues that foremost concern my survival.

                              *                                                       *                                                                *

Now an educated man may feel inferior to the savage and simple primal man, for nature frustrates every attempt of mine at fire and it had better not be too long before I discover how I may keep myself warm and also to make food, biscuit cannot sustain for long. I am endeavouring to make peace with the island and my unfortunate situation. I have at least made a spear of flint and must learn to be as the native and hunt for food. The liberty of not having to adhere to dress codes or rigorous formalities one encounters and must endure at all times at home is a circumstance which suits me greatly and I thrive upon. I discard more and more of my clothes though I must be careful to not be too bared in this overbearing sun. The look of browning skin is not, as it is in Europe, unpleasant to me.
My musings and writings on the concerns of society are here lost, worthless, like the money I left onboard the ship to become the bed to the ocean so vast. I find myself on a comparatively small island and yet it overwhelms me. Meanwhile across the fierce and unforgiving oceans many people, in any shape or form busy about their lives, and we who are privileged sit behind locked door with quill and comment on what we have never seen nor experienced. It is a wonder that we can so assuredly and confidently write in our states of isolation quite how the world must work. It seems to me now, one can know very little.
FOOTPRINT
What a discovery! This very morning, upon the beach which I have become so very fond of, where I have spent much time gazing out to sea to excite my imagination as to the people and cultures that play out existence beyond my knowing, I looked down before me and found a footprint. I did not start until I broke from my fantasy into what this actually means. I quickly tried to rationalize and assure myself that it must have been my own foot. But upon reflection, I concluded, it could not be mine. This excited all manner of hopes and fears; however, I soon decided this could only be a good thing, for company was something I yearned for, be it in whichever form nature produced. Certainly, the desire for the feminine companion is a desire I envision and near believe in my moments of complete disorientation, it is perhaps false however that the heat in this intensity so increases the sexual desires of a creature, for it only makes myself feel rather sluggish and good for little.
But the footprint! How I have thoroughly tired myself of trying to imagine the person to whom it belonged, I assume a male and I have guessed it Native for it was bare. Although the dangers confront me and upon occasions torment me, the excitement of company far outweighs it all. I have been here too long alone, in the company of my own thoughts and God. I am of course, defenceless if the foot and form behind the imprint return and mean harm. My shelter in the clearing is remarkably open and is only slightly raised to avoid nightly disturbance. However, I have quick wit, innocence and willingness to learn that this man or men may find pleasing and good may result.
Footprint, you speak to me of hope. To converse! How I long.
                      *                                                       *                                                                  *
Today, I have begun a new journey on this beautiful island. It was as I was strolling through a particular favourite part of this island beneath a tree with the juicy fruit I so enjoy I spotted through the trees movement! It seems a group of natives it seems had gathered in boats and were causing something of a stir of which I understood little. I was stuck between paralysing fears; I am vulnerable and very inexperienced in dealing with the Negro, and ecstasy; for the company of people, whoever they may be is something I have yearned for. However, I let my curiosity command my actions and I resolved to go down and risk death or any other torture for the chance of escape or companionship. In trembling fear I approached and in a matter of desperate and chaotic moments they dispersed leaving behind one of their group number who remained face down and hands tied. It is now I can be grateful for the gift upon which fortune has given me, for though afraid and quite alarmed I untied the fellow who eyed me always with suspicion. But it seems that when a man shows trust it is most often trust he receives, and so a new chapter begins.





THE NATIVE
The years have been long and hard and yet I have fallen in love with the island upon which fate or fortune landed me upon. It seems nature is plentiful and abounding and we can taste only our due, we cannot hope to own or conquer all we meet but greet with smile a new experience. However the days upon this island may soon be over, a boat is being crafted that should take us to an island or mainland. My companion and I have struck up rather a strong friendship and accordingly vision. He refers to me by the name “Obroni” or Rusoe, though it is unlike any other pronunciation of my name I have previously encountered. I call him ­­“Coffee” for two reasons; in trying to decipher names he made a sound very much like this, though I have no doubt it is spelled differently and means something quite profound in his society, my pronunciation, no doubt is as crudely formed as his attempt at calling me by my name. The second reason for his name, which sits comfortably with me as coincidence is the coffee colour of his skin.  I have picked up few words which he speaks and he has picked up some of mine.
His presence has brought me much joy and I find times of inward reflecting are no longer in clouds so that I may pick down thoughts as they come but are tethered to an experienced reality of understanding. He has given me much food for thought in regard to the native and his ways. His skin is dark and his clothing crude yet we have a bond by which we can recognise ourselves in each other’s person, and I use the term person with the full impact, that my native companion is in the fullest terms a person. It is, in fact, in this Negro that I have discovered something of that innate goodness and innocence I have so often speculated upon and found little in any other being than children. He, like an animal has his survival worked out, there is a certain peace and sublime serenity that I have sought for so long that he seems to have without even being aware. There is envy in me for his childlikeness and the quality of what I have previously heard referred to as “the noble savage”.  Where the European walks in amour-propre, a proud and self-reliant, and ultimately false walk in pride, Coffee is happy in native ignorance and bliss, that of amour-de-soi.  It is something I greatly value him for.  
Our work is fruitful and even enjoyable, we have planned that in three months we may be able to embark on our voyage of escape. I am excitedly expectant as to what we may find as I am in no hurry to return to Europe, indeed, I have little in way of money, property or security to return to. Though perhaps these experiences may give my writings some weight and the European mind may find some expansion and hope in my journey.

Monday 11 October 2010

Collision

The old priest smiled softly. The young woman sat in front of him had red streaks down her cheeks like her eyes had recently erupted. And they had. What was she to do? What would you do? It's not an uncommon story and maybe that was another nagging at her soul. What was the point in this? It didn't make her special. It just made her beaten. It didn't make her worthy. It just meant she was empty handed. The priest looked down at the bump which made her vulnerability stick out to about the same degree. "Who could do this?" She let another lava trickle run down her cheek. The toddler running up and down pews giggling. Our young woman's hands gripping her shabby dress so hard that her knuckles had turned the same pasty white as her attire. It was a hollow moment packed full of pain. How is it she, such a small woman can experience more pain that it seems in her capacity to bear? It wasn't fair. It didn't matter that at school she left with little to show. She had learned more than most of those got-it-together's in their more stamped and acknowledged little lives. They were still pursuing the pot of gold. This girl was beaten.

The question on everyone's mind is how? Words that are almost clichés circling the head and tip of the tongue. Sometimes escaping and lost in the void. Monster doesn't speak of half of it. Thirty miles away an almost good looking man who is stuffed like a turkey with charisma that works for three minutes of empty conversation and not much longer and a smile that is worn as a cheap necklace is driving away with the upgrade. Same brand, different model. Slicker, simpler and so damn sexy. It's Apple, it's consumption, it's houses, it's cars, it's Tesco, it's beds, fridges, it's who you know. It's evolution. Keep up or lose out. He was a winner. She was collateral.

And the priest. What scripture to quote? Which doctrine do we apply to this wound? Where's the instructions anyway? Bring back the happy people. Like a song that word "happy" floats around like a feather, aimless. Happy is a yuppie word. He'd heard that somewhere. Maybe that's what he should say. No. This isn't new, this isn't beyond. The priest isn't an innocent old naive. The tide of culture washes him up on shore like flotsam. Froth, a matter of time before all the bubbles burst. While the rest enjoy the pleasure of being the swell of wave. Circular and monotonous but it has its kick. Flotsam just floats. Revolution and rebellion, tyranny and uprising, the next big thing soon dispersed on the sand of existence which soon dispels any power that had once seemingly held threat.

Anyway, the priest has given up caring about waves and flotsam or sand. He's in the capital of a once "great" nation with one of six billion of God's most worthy creatures. In a world as old as time and yet maybe even more. This was oblivion and he was in it and so was she.

Sunday 10 October 2010

The Windy Place

In The Windy Place the people are barely getting by. That doesn't stop the smiles and jeers and competing that you would find in any other less windy place around of course. People adapt. But these people aren't, they think they are of course. But this is only because they are no worse off than their neighbour. Let them tip-toe to death and they're alive they say.

When the wind blows in The Windy Place, roofs fly off, fences get ripped from the ground, people and animals go missing. When the wind blows in The Windy Place you need to be inside, for the wind will completely disrupt everything in its way. Families huddle inside as houses fight to reclaim the ground in which they are planted.

A story is told in the windy place that one time when the wind blew a man outside shouted. He shouted for the wind to be calm. And it was. The people were amazed and came out to meet this man who could silence the wind. They threw a large party for the man, had him as guest of honour, roasted their finest young bull. When the man left, the town erected a statue in his honour, they set days aside to remember the day the man made the wind stay still. The story is still told.

The wind blows. A young member of the town, a podgy little inquisitor leaves his house unnoticed by the huddling family who are too busy being afraid together. The family are using their replica statue of the man to block the doorway and support the house. They huddle behind their things, their things of ritual, of hope for better times and their despair.

Our little podgy inquisitor in the meantime had made his way out of his house, if only his family knew, and through the empty and battered streets. For he could see in the distance a fire, and by that fire, a man. Fighting with the wind and using the piled defences that the people of The Windy Place had heaped in front of their teetering dwellings, he made his way to the edge of town. He stood, clinging to a young tree who was screaming something rotten, staring in wonder at the man and the fire. Between them lay a sweeping bare wilderness of dark thundering winds. Winds that would finish horses let alone our young friend. The man by the fire seemed to see the podgy little daredevil but paid little acknowledgement.

And then our young friend did something rather stupid. He stuck out a foot, and then another. On his third step he was knocked sprawling by the winds and left to cling to rocks sticking from the ground. He did this simply because his fascination was mightier than his fear. He couldn't go back now anyway, he was stuck in the middle, in the void, the wind clawing at him and pulling him around. He held on as tight as he might but the wind was strong. It taunted him. The boy closed his eyes and a tear welled up in his eye only to be ripped right from his face. He had not even the strength to be sad. Our boy had been beaten and he closed his eyes and all went black.

But only for a second. The boy began to feel warmth upon his skin. His face began to tingle with a dancing heat. The wind though still blowing, began to lose its strength, the sounds of horses running over his back subsided for the click clack of the laughing fire which he now felt with merciful increase. He looked up. The man was there sitting by the fire, watching the fire on its merry jingle.
"Not many are foolish enough to leave their houses when the wind blows" the stranger said.
"Well I've never heard of anyone who sits outside with a fire when the wind blows" the boy retorted. The stranger chuckled.
"Why have you got a fire?"
"Why not? It keeps me warm" The stranger smiled. "It keeps me entertained"
The boy had noticed that all this time the man had not once taken his eyes off of the fire as though it were a friend and perhaps the fire and he were talking but not with lips and noise.
"But look at the winds, you could die."
The stranger was silent. And then said softly "I don't pay much mind to the winds. They come and go"
"But people die in the winds."
"Yes, some people do."
"Well I knew I shouldn't go out but I was too bored inside and wanted to see how big the wind was. The grown ups tell me that I shouldn't go out because I could get blown away, but I always thought that sounded fun"
"And was it?"
"Not much. I cried because it hurt"
The strangers mouth slid up in each corner. The boy continued.
"But I don't think the Winds all that bad. I heard a story one time of a man who shouted and the wind became still. My mummy said the whole town threw a huge party for the man."
The boy looked at the stranger who continued to hold gaze with his friend the fire. The boy sighed.
"Well I don't know. We have a statue of him in our house, its big and when it gets windy, we lean it against the door frame to keep it up. But I've never seen the wind stop, so I don't know if the man was all that great."

The stranger seemed not to hear, or if he did, he hid it well. His face danced in the light. He let out a low hum, as though singing  with the fire. His eyes still locked on the prickly orange flame. The wind grew up around and our little friend felt a chill and pulled his small jacket up around his rosy cheeks. Something somewhere across the void, in the town fell over, maybe it was the statue. The strangers voice began to lift and he chanted words the boy could not understand. The wind howled through the landscape. The strangers voice, lifted, began to play with the wind. The fire crackled heartily in the backdrop of sound that rushed into the boys ears and down into him, into his lungs, into his heart. He gasped, the vacuum filled with pure harmony. He felt scared and yet he had never felt so safe in his life. But it was a dangerous safe like riding an eagle or playing with a lion. The noise grew, and though the boy had covered his ears as tight as he could, the sound was in him, it shook him, he thought he would burst. Then, without warning everything stopped. The fire blew out, the wind ceased and in the darkness he couldn't see the stranger. All was left was a thin trail of smoke. He stared in expectation but nothing happened. He made a step into the void, the wind had died but his mind was whirling. What had just happened? Was that the man? Where did he go? The boy felt butterflies, he was excited, safe, trembling and simply terrified.

The boy made his way home with lots of questions hoping he would meet that man again. He didn't know what to say when he got back so he didn't say much about it at all. Although, one thing did change, he stopped calling this place The Windy Place and began calling it something else, he began to call it home.